Online Social Networking For Teens with Special Needs

I worked with a wonderful 9th grade boy and his parents. I had worked with this client since he was in sixth grade; he was delightful and bright. He had been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome when he was in third grade.

Asperger's syndrome or disorder is a type of pervasive development disorder (PDD) that involve delays in the development of many basic skills, most notably the ability to socialize with others, to communicate without difficulty, and for some to use imagination.

Due to my client's problems with social skills, I was always searching for creative ways to help him interact with others without creating awkward and embarrassing situations for him. There were a few interesting behaviors that he exhibited that were common for children and teens that have Asperger's syndrome, but made it interesting for him when he tried to develop social skills with his peers. For example, my client had some odd, repetitive movements (he twisted his fingers or flicked his fingers in the air) especially when he was nervous. So when he would try to enter into a conversation with his peers he would twist his fingers in such an intense way that it would distract others from the conversation.

However, my client really wanted to make friends. So did his parents. His father spoke to me weekly about how badly he felt that his son did not have just one friend to invite to come over and hang out. His dad even bought tickets to baseball games hoping that it would entice one of the boys in his son's class to hang out with him. Both of his parents felt it would help their son learn about social cues and communication if their son could just have one friend to learn from. They also just wanted for their son what all parents want for their children: to have a nice time, to enjoy companionship, to learn to trust and care for others outside of his parents, teachers, adults and family.

When I would observe my client at school during lunch, my client would tend to read by himself with his Ipod on. He did not connect with others easily. When someone would approach him, he had a very hard time making eye contact (very common among children that have Asperger's syndrome) he would struggle with what to say and would misread social cues constantly.

Almost at a loss as to how I was going to help my client who had Asperger's syndrome since he was a young boy, a young man that wanted just one friend to connect with to care for. Such a great person that mainly just struggled with face-to-face social interaction and social skills. The answer was actually right in front of me the entire time...online social networking.

The most interesting part of how I figured this out was that it came from my client. One day, during a session with my client, he asked me if he could show me something on my computer. We often used the computer in sessions to help him witness and then practice conversations and other social situations.

Within a few moments, we were laughing at a video on Youtube. I asked him a few questions about his comfort on the computer and I started to think of this concept. After some research and discussing the idea with some colleagues, I contacted his parents and asked them to sign him up on a social networking site for kids his age.

Within one month, my client had begun to develop some real social skills. He had been able to take some of his obsessive traits and used them online to meet other peers his age who loved the same things he did (in his case funny Youtube videos, chess, silent movies, and history). His finger twisting did not factor into his online communication. His lack of eye contact did not pose an issue when he was online.

He could take his time typing out messages to peers from school which gave him the confidence when he was at school to speak more to them. The nicest part, was that he was able to connect on Myspace with two boys from his own school on a game site. They began having lunch together a few times a week, then daily.

Everyone in his life continued to do their part; his parents continued to monitor his behavior online. I worked with him online to make sure that he had appropriate behavior and continued social skills homework (like introducing himself to new people from his school online then face-to-face, eye contact strategies in face-to-face communication, reducing finger twitching, etc.)

My client is in college now, and continues to participate in a host of social networking sites. He has developed some wonderful social skills in some areas, and does continue to struggle in other ways. However, he is an example of how online social networking sites, if monitored and used effectively, can help our children grow and develop in healthy ways.