"Cyberbulling is defined as someone repeatedly harassing, mistreating, or making fun of another person online or while using a phone or other electronic devices." (Patchin &Hinduja, 2006)
She explained that her daughter had been expelled due to her involvement in a cyberbulling situation. This mother was shocked, her 16 year old daughter was a straight A student, she described her as a kind and caring friend and leader. She could not believe that her daughter would ever intentionally bully another person. Imagine her dismay when she was called into the school due to her daughter posting mean and hurtful messages online about two other students at the school.
I asked this mother if she recalled her daughter telling her about any bulling that she or her friends were experiencing. At first, she looked confused as to why I was asking her this question, but after a few seconds, she replied that she had in fact remembered that her daughter had been very hurt, actually crushed when a rumor was spread about her and her friends online a few months prior to the expulsion.
Her daughter had told her mom and dad that when she was voted as the winter dance queen a rumor was spread on Facebook that she had slept with various boys the night of the dance, and so had her friends. Her parents had actually hosted an after dance party for their daughter and friends so they knew this was a rumor. The situation had gone on for a few weeks, but the parents had never followed through with finding out anything more about the rumor. They figured it had just been a prank and because it wasn't true, no one would get hurt.
Obviously, the rumor did hurt a lot of people. In an attempt to punish the girls who spread the rumors, many more rumors were spread back and forth and before to long things got out of control.
According to current research conducted by the Cyberbulling Research Center in 2010, out of 4000 youth, ages 12 to 18, 20% say they experienced cyberbulling, and 20% admitted to cyberbulling others. Additionally, adolescent girls are significantly more likely to have experienced cyberbulling than boys. Girls tend to spread rumors and boys are more likely to post hurtful pictures or videos.
Tips for Parents:
1. Pay attention when you child talks to you about gossip, rumors, etc being spread online, texting, etc. even if it is about their friends and not them. Often times they feel helpless and think they must retaliate in order to look tough.
2. Help your child understand that there are adults that can help (even if they do not want to talk to you) like teachers, administrators, counselors, online support. Even if they have cyberbulled themselves, being honest goes a long way.
3. Your child deserves to feel safe online, let them know that they do not need to put up with feeling harassed or made fun of.
4. Do not get emotional when you child tells you things about cyberbulling or being online, you want them to keep coming back to you! Find your own resources, like drhilarybuff@me.com
