Sexting is the act of sending explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.
In a study conducted in 2008 by the National Campaign to Support Teen & Unplanned Pregnancy, Cosmogirl.com conducted a study of 1280 teenagers and found that 20% of girls were sexting. That was in 2008, the numbers are just rising daily.
Kids have a hard time understanding that decisions they make in a quick second can impact them for days, weeks, months, years, and sometimes a lifetime. This has a lot to do with the development of the brain, which doesn't finish growing until around 18 years of age. Unfortunately, one of the last parts of the brain to finish developing is the part of the brain that is in charge of decision making-executive functioning.
I like to think of our kids as cars with lousy brakes....we must make sure that they know when to slow down, when to go in to check on the brakes, etc.
Having a camera attached to a phone that can send a picture in a moment is a dangerous idea, without preparing our kids for the responsibility.
Here are some ideas on how to talk about Sexting:
1. Explain to your child that if they receive an explicit picture they should tell you immediately. They should shut their phone off. They should not show the picture to anyone else. Have some type of agreement that they will not get in trouble as long as they come to you...remember you are trying to keep the lines of communication open.
2. You need to take the memory card out of the phone if your child is sent an explicit picture. It is helpful to know who sent the picture, but it is best to take to remove the memory card. The reason that you must do this for your child is that if your child does not really erase the picture but says he/she does, they could be in serious legal trouble. You might be implicated as well. Also, if there is a more serious case later on, with other children involved, the police may approach you and you can always present them with the memory card which will show the last day the memory card saved information which will be the day it received the picture. I have worked with several cases in which this was very helpful. Also, make sure the picture was not saved on the house computer.
3. Help your child realize that nothing they do is private, between just one person to another. They have no control over who their friend/boyfriend/girlfriend may one day show the picture to. The same goes for sending aggressive words or statements. Sometimes a sibling or friend might take someones phone and that may lead to the spreading of a picture or private conversation.
4. Always be aware of who your child is communicating with and what they are communicating. You can either get a copy of the phone messages from your phone plan or ask to see your child's phone.I believe that your child deserves privacy, but I also believe that your child deserves to know you care enough to make sure they are safe.
5. Make your expectations very clear about sexting, communication, and usage of the cell phone for your child, tween and teen. Review these expectations frequently.
